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need career/marriage advice

 
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aardvark



Joined: 21 Jul 2008
Posts: 176
Location: Central Saudi Arabia

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:47 am    Post subject: need career/marriage advice Reply with quote

I'm back in the U.S. from China. I have no delusions that I'll find work as a full-time ESL instructor. I'm just here to sell my stuff so I can lighten my load and go abroad to teach (seems that MA in TESOL wasn't the ticket to getting a job in a community college).

Now that I'm married to a Chinese woman, she seems very keen on staying in the U.S. She wants me to find a job teaching part-time and things will be just fine. My gut tells me otherwise. If I go to China, the most I can make per month would be around $1900-2200 per month (that includes the apt, too!). I thought she would be happy with that. Now, she's not too keen on going to China.

However, if I go to Japan or the Middle East, I would make around $3000-4000 per month. She says that we should stay together. She doesn't like Japan or the Middle East. Hmmmmm. Is this another of those no-brainer questions? Should I make the most money in the shortest amount of time? Confused
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St. George



Joined: 06 Oct 2004
Posts: 104
Location: Ex Libya

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 7:36 pm    Post subject: WORK Reply with quote

You must go where the work is and your wife must follow.

Women have different priorities; they don't like to leave their friends, they don't like to leave their new house. They are apprehensive; they don't speak the language. You will be at work; I'll be all alone. How could you do this to me?

"We should stay together" means that she should go with you.

You could say to her, "Lets give it a go and if you don't like it we will return". The odds are that she will like it once she has made new friends and then you can stay there forever.

St. G
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JamesAtRealize



Joined: 09 Sep 2010
Posts: 118
Location: Kobe, Sanomiya, Japan

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

most women like money more than anything else Razz

you might want to explain the difference in quality of life if you stay in america vs living in a place where you can work fewer hours for more money.

consider yourself as part of that quality of life

also, being in japan myself, if the reason she doesn't like japan is because of the common "we don't like Japan" thing that's going on in china cuz of little islands and crap like that, expect it to get magnified as people in Japan are just as stupid about all of it, albeit more educated on the topic, still as irrationally dumb about it.

coming from america you might have an idea about what i mean regarding blind patriotism
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マンツーマン 英会話 神戸 三宮 リアライズ - James
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JustMe



Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Posts: 31

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It sounds like she wants to stay in America. Can't you get a full-time job there? In both Japan and the Middle East, she is likely to face discrimination, so I can understand why she wouldn't want to move there. Instead of talking to strangers on discussion boards, don't you think you should find out exactly what she thinks, and what she needs from you? You can't really make such an important decision without careful discussion. You could suggest to her that a few years experience abroad will be good for your future career, as well as allowing you to save more money than you could in either America or China. In the end though, it is a decision that you have to make together.
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reyesesther321



Joined: 17 Jul 2012
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:46 am    Post subject: Re:need career/marriage advice Reply with quote

Every individual has different priorities in life. With a man and a woman, they are totally opposite in so many ways. That is why we should be very careful in choosing our partner in life. Both parties should learn how to support each other. Because they are already one! I suggest that you should meet halfway. Make God the center of your marriage and submit to your partners.
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aardvark



Joined: 21 Jul 2008
Posts: 176
Location: Central Saudi Arabia

PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, it didn't work out.....her idea of meeting her 1/2 way was for me to come back to the U.S. and pay 1/3 of the rent while her daughter stayed in apt. rent free. I also had to take out trash and clean up......

my rent money dwindled after I paid $$$$ for my CELTA (best investment in travel and education, however). she called me "cheap" in front of my mother....

So, she got tired of getting less and less $$$, so she filed for divorce.....she decided to move out just as I'm about to get another job in KSA.......

the kicker is that in Calif, the spouse with the most money has to pay alimony......I'd love to get alimony while I'm in KSA....she'd pay any amount to get the IRS off her tail...(she has been cooking the books)... he, he, he.... Evil or Very Mad
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